Pretentious new hire publicly accuses coworker of excluding her after he declines to ride with her to work dinner, causing her to skip it: 'I told her she excluded herself'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Oct 5, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Office drama really hits differently when it's the new hire stirring the pot. In this story, we've got a pretentious new hire who thinks the world revolves around her. And when it doesn't, she makes sure everyone hears about it. She asked a coworker to ride with her to a celebratory work dinner because, apparently, driving alone is just too much for her. (It makes you wonder how she manages to commute every day, doesn't it?) The coworker, who already had plans to ride with someone else, politely declined. 

That "someone else" he was riding with offered her a seat in his car, too. But in a classic "make it about me" move, she refused. So, she decided to try driving herself, only to claim she got too anxious halfway there and had to pull over and call an Uber home. The next day, she waltzed into the office, pointing fingers and accusing her coworker of excluding her. But our guy stood his ground. He didn't cave to the whining or let her play the victim. He let her know straight up that she excluded herself.

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    Cheezburger Image 10412428032
    via Unsplash (Getty Images)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    AITA "purposefully excluding" a coworker
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    I (28M) work in a team of 7 people. A new girl Jess (26F) joined a couple months ago who I don't really care for. I am polite to her while we work but we don't share any hobbies or overlap in any way. I think she's a
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    bit pretentious to be honest. She's always talking about her living in London in her early twenties. It's her whole personality, talking about all the expensive things she used to do and how she's "sooooo broke" as a result. We are all paid very well for what we do and the area we live in.
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    Last night, we had all planned to go for dinner after work to celebrate Chris (28M) getting married. I knew Jess would be going but it wasn't my plan to dictate who went and it's a nice thing to celebrate so I decided to go anyway. Everyone at work
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    drives apart from me so Chris offered to drive us both. I will I am the closest with him, we started around the same time. say I was all set to go until Jess said she finds driving on her own nerve-wracking (I have no idea
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    how she manages to commute in every day) and asked if I'd ride with her. I declined and said I wanted to travel with Chris. She insisted so I told her I want to ride with Chris so we can talk about some wedding things and got into the car. Chris did offer
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    to also drive her but she declined. We all got to the restaurant. Jess did not. She had a panic attack mid journey and decided to UBER home, leaving her car on a random street somewhere. Today
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    at work, she had a go at me and accused me of purposefully excluding her from the group plan. Apparently me not riding with her was a scheme on my end to make her not go because I don't like her. I told her that she excluded
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    herself. Chris offered her a lift and she didn't take it. She also didn't have to abandon her car and ditch, she could have called an UBER for herself to the restaurant. Then I walked off. While I don't like her, I never
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    make that known at work or to any of my coworkers. I ask about her weekend, I offer her a hot drink if I make one, I help her whenever she has questions. I just don't talk to her like I do with everyone else and I don't have her on my social media - I've know everyone else for 3
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    years+ now, of course I'm close to them. I was talking to Chris about this post-shift and he told me that it wouldn't have hurt for me to ride with her instead of him when she insisted. AITA?
    via u/BroadHeat933
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    years+ now, of course I'm close to them. I was talking to Chris about this post-shift and he told me that it wouldn't have hurt for me to ride with her instead of him when she insisted. AITA?
    via u/
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    • Gigi-lily 21h ago • Partassipant [3] NTA. You mentioned everyone else drives so she had multiple people she could have asked to go with after you said no. She could have gone with Chris. She could have taken and Uber to the restaurant then had someone drop her back to the car if she didn't want to pay to uber twice.
    via u/Gigi-lily
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    Her being mad at you because she has a vehicle she is afraid to drive is ridiculous. You are not excluding her at work, you are not being disrespectful or outwardly that is asked. , and that is all 7.4K Reply
    via u/Gigi-lily
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    mizfit416 21h ago • • Partassipant [3] NTA - How do you exclude someone who was invited? She imposed herself on you and you politely declined, TWICE. She's a nit wit. 2.2K Reply
    via u/mizfit416
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    Artistic_Musician_78 . 21h ago NTA, and how did she manage to drive her car there herself? Or anywhere? This is so strange. 1.1K 1.1K Reply
    via u/Artistic_Musician_78
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    Angelblade92 • 21h ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [46] NTA - The people saying it wouldn't have hurt are completely missing the point. You aren't an NPC there simply to make other people happy. You didn't want to travel with her and you don't have to. It's weird that because she threw a hissy fit you are supposed to get in line and do what she wants. 591 591 Reply ...
    via u/Angelblade92
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    • Vote_for_Knife_Party 21h ago • Chris did offer to also drive her but she declined. That seems to sum it up pretty succinctly; even if we give a good faith acceptance of the driving problem (perhaps the problem is driving to unfamiliar places alone?), you weren't her one and only option. NTA. 551 551 Reply
    via u/Vote_for_Knife_Party
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    tuxedovic • 20h ago I think you need to go to HR. Her demanding to be alone with you and causing trouble because you weren't raises all sorts of red flags. You must stop this drama now. ✩ 456 Reply
    via u/tuxedovic
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    • Urbanyeti0 21h ago • Pooperintendant [51] NTA if she can't drive without having a panic attack, she shouldn't have a license let alone a car. It's also not your responsibility to get into a car with someone least of all when the driver advises they're a nervous driver. 249 Reply ...
    via u/Urbanyeti0

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